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Who's the Boss? And other realizations when waking up



Missionaries are servants, not bosses. Dr. Frank Rosser (see the article: The Greatest is Servant of All)


The last few months have been like a state of sleep. I closed my eyes mid-August and am now waking up again. There was a break somewhere in that time (October), but I'm not sure what happened in it. I think there was a camping trip. When you are asleep, you do not take stock of your circumstance for the day. You recuperate. That's what you do in sleep. Today, I feel somewhat awake, so I'll take stock:


  • I'm about 210 pounds
  • I'm having about as difficult time as I can remember at work.
  • We are preparing our house for selling.
  • I'm working on finishing SeedProjx: Backyard Botany (which I think has a lot to be desired)
  • I'm in kind of an in-between churches state
  • I find that somehow, though I have gentlemen that I can reach out to, I'm not in regular communion with anyone other than my wife.


As I look for a common theme of the above bullets, I see each a existing in an immature state. I look at each of those bullets and think of the failings that have limited progress. And maybe that's just my problem.


At any time in our history, we can make a list as this one. We can identify, most easily, the things we are working on, toward. How we look at those things makes quite a difference in what happens with them. Am I looking at each of these items too pessimistically? The negativity that I express regarding each of these bullets, and the extent to which I allow them to continue to happen to me without facing them with a real, in earnest plan, is a wake-up call, for sure. To be fair, in selling the house and the SeedProjX effort I've been somewhat consistent and intentional, but the others definitely feel more like they are happening to me.


And so much of it is "I", the royal one. The "I" that if I could enlarge the font size for that single letter without having it be such a burden to writing, I would. It gives me the shudders to think about how selfish I've been. I find myself stuck because I'm not doing the right things. I'm stuck in "rolling with it", rather than "rolling with Him".


Lord Jesus, the 1st Congo sign says, "Stay Woke" for a reason. We are prone to sleeping. An interesting thing happens when you sleep. You lose track of time. You close your eyes and you exist in a timeless state until you awake, hours later. Months later. Help me to realign, beginning today. Help me to reorient to You, to put You first and to consider what that means in my life right now. Help me to consider more than just myself and my needs and to consider my family and their needs. Direct my path to activity that is meaningful in the Lord. Help me to die to the things that I want, merely things meaningful to me. I cannot be anyone's servant if the real person that I seek to put all in service to is myself. Help me to be, as You, a servant of all.


In Jesus Name,


Amen



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