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He is My Portion


Yesterday watching Modern Family, Cam was waiting on some news about a job that could cause him and his husband to move out of town. The scenes flitted between dismay and acceptance, just hours or minutes apart from each other. Jess and I laughed, but there is something eerily true about Cam's instability.

Sunday, I was in the Spirit, barely able to sing Michael Card's The Nazarene. I was so moved by Him who surrendered all. Today I read from Nehemiah and I feel the question rise in me, will God again do any great works? Will I see them? I've been in this place before. My failures before have led to my mediocrity in Christianity. I've felt before that my relationship with God is one-sided, and not in the way the gospel preachers would have you to think.

It's times like these that I need a word from the Lord. I need Him to call, as described by Bonhoeffer. Perhaps, though, really, I do not know what I need. And that what I really need is to stay with the Lord, in faith and in obedience.

Lord Jesus, my emotions are a riotous place. And my thoughts a jungle. Help me to stand firm on Your Word, to be rooted in You, connected to the Vine as a branch. Help me to bear Your light burden, not the one that suits the portion of my eyes.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Lamentations 3:24
Psalm 73:26

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