Skip to main content

Brick by Brick


Recently I read a Gottman's Marriage Minute post: Brick by Brick. In Science PLC this week we talked about bringing a weakness to the table, and I'm thinking I'm going to bring my know-it-all-ness; combined with my impatience it leads to jumping way ahead of where we actually are, justifying the leap because "I know what we have to do". Evidence: we were supposed to do a Priority Tasks activity with teachers to develop a 4 week plan. Brooks said, you can't start at the plan if the people don't know how to properly plan.

With Jess, I want to be further down the road than we are. I want the knowing glances between us to course deeper than they do. We are sooner to quarrel than hug. Joking is dangerous ground between us. The chance for misunderstanding is so high. And, of course, we have reasons. We are stretched thin, we are maxed, we don't have room for anything above our current considerations. And when we offer something, we want it to be received in kind. Yesterday, Jess thanked me for being a hero. I said, I didn't think I did that much to help, to which she responded, "Let me have this". She was giving me something to help push our relationship forward and she wanted me to let her have the advance.

For someone who thinks big sweeping thoughts, it can be difficult to think small thoughts, to pay attention to itty bitty things that are right now things. I prefer to pay attention to the bigger things, to assign time and effort to those, and I tend to dismiss the little things as temporary. The adjustment that I am making these days, or at least beginning to see, is that the big things are necessary to keep into focus. Things like leading my family in the Lord, having my family know they are supported, phone calls every Sunday, eating right and exercise, developing a highly intuitive website, a good sex life, writing music, all kinds of things, are important to have values to esteem. But you can't get to high value without building to it. "Easy come, easy go," they say. And Keith Green once wrote, "to find yourself, you've got to start right here."

Heavenly Father, my I "start right here". I get down the road from where I actually am, and its unreal. Help me to be where I am, help to love and fight, and believe right where I am. It's not where I want to be, but let the tension between where I want to be and where I am lead me to take a step in the right direction, not to ignore the road and journey, and daydream about a better place.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Gottman Marriage Minute: Brick by Brick

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Meditation as Rightly Concentrated Consideration | Contemplation as The Course of Right Action

Let us begin by saying that the basic difference between meditation and contemplation is that meditation is a human mode of prayer whereas contemplation is divinely infused prayer. This morning I consider, consideration. It's a term often used in the Bible, I believe in both the old and new testament. While you are going about your life, have you considered this... It's the entryway to the contemplative life. I use contemplation there, as a culminating thing, intentionally. Before I read a little bit, I might have considered using the word meditation instead, but that reveals my persuasion and error; also my inexperience. Meditation is man-initiated deep-thought. It's hope is to reach God. Contemplation, as exposed in the article below, is Spirit-breathed prayer inside of us, guiding us to right and holy actions. As I was searching consideration "vs" the other 2 terms, concentration came up. Presently, I see that as the course from consideration to meditation....
Post a Comment
Read more

Abide.

March 8th And now abide these three, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13 John 15. Jesus is at his most concise and articulate. John remembers. Time is short. Jesus has to summarize how they are to live after He is gone and, because it may get hard, why . His guidance weaves into and out of God; it abides and commands. For love and joy. It makes friends. And something else. Jesus didn't have to come. He could have let this place alone. And that's probably why those who hated Him really hated Him. He told them they were wrong. He messed up their flow and their designs. They had a pretty good handle on things, managing the masses, and He was disruptive... for what reason?!  But He did come. And He did call a spade a spade. And He did come with a double edged sword. He made clear what the choice was. And the benefits on one hand, the dangers on the other. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Just Wait

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles.  Isaiah 40:31 I'm thinking about picking up John Mark Comer's Loveology. I'm not infatuated with his style, but he does have an uncanny knack of navigating great depths breezily. And I'm in need of reconsidering love and my relationship with my wife. This morning, feeling we are on a drought of sorts, I'm thinking "what can I do?" And as I searched (with an honest to God search) I saw how men centuries over have navigated the mystery of the inner world of their wives. I've long shared a favorite image explaining the dichotomy of men and women, showing the intricacies of turning on a woman versus, well, a man.  So, what can I do? I hate to say it... wait. My wife needs to know that I can. After years of it coming pretty easy, I think it's time to get in there and turn a few knobs, flick a few switches and tweak intimacy. There's a difference betwee...
Post a Comment
Read more