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Running in Pace


I can be frantic. I can move frantically. I reason that it's good and that the impulse for it is urgency, but as I examine myself, I see the output is a bit crazed. I looked up a few things this morning, that I thought went together:

Perfectionism
Slowing down
Freneticness
Urgency

There is tension in these words. Slowing down is what I need to do, because I'm missing so much of life. Urgency is what I feel at work, though not necessarily at home, and it's what gives rise to much of my anxiety. Perfection is what I cannot attain in my work life pursuits, because we don't have the time to sit and make perfect solutions. Freneticness is the outcome of my reason being seared by the collision of urgency, perfection, and the desire to slow down.

As I read through the material I had looked up, I noticed the relationships between each. Some more terms emerged that I hadn't initially thought of:

Excellence
Self-Orientation
"Shoulds"
Opportunity

There were many gems in what I read today, but this really stood out.
It's easy to feel guilty about not taking advantage of every opportunity.  However, by attempting to do that you can find yourself feeling frazzled and losing sight of the big picture of your life.
In an attempt to be opportunistic, I have become myopic. I can't see past myself and the work that's right in front of me. To the best I can, I work on having voluminous output, but as Keys says to me often, "at what cost?"

The mixture of terms in my mind, acting out in my pursuit, is causing me serious anxiety. I have to find ways to slow it down, to let things go, and to re-orient to the bigger picture. Or I will live in frustration and misery.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your great and precious promises in Jesus, that they are yeah and amen. I continuously try to make things happen, and I believe that there is an amount of that from You, but disconnected from You it is off-putting to others (if not crippling) and it is certainly crippling to me. Help me to slow down, to breathe deeply, to see all the goodness You have put on the path. More than that, help me to slow down to reacquaint with You, to orient to You, to learn from You, to love You.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/lay-aside-the-weight-of-perfection
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201904/how-slow-down
https://www.etymonline.com/word/frenetic?ref=etymonline_crossreference
Frantic - wild or distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion.
"she was frantic with worry"

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