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Blowin' Off Steam to Right the Ship



Sometimes you just need to vent. You need to speak your crazy out loud to someone who understands, who can identify with you, so that you don't feel so crazy after all. Yesterday, I had a day. I felt I was left on my own to keep all in order, while everyone else was out of the building having a grand old time. I wanted to have a good time, too. But, I could resign myself to the work that needed to be done, and that someone had to stay in the building. But it would have been nice for someone to check on me.

And someone did. Keys! And I vented. And she understood.

This has been a year of self-examination. I have come to see how self-absorbed I have been (I'm not sure the self-examination is helping me get my eyes off myself). How I want my ideas to be the ones that are put forward. Not the teams ideas, and not necessarily the best ideas. If I'm being honest.

Listening to the BFG, there was a dream that Sophie read in the BFG's cave which read something to the effect of:
I have written the most amazing book, no one can lift their eyes from it, and cars are crashing and dentists are working on people distracted by the book but the patients don't mind as they are distracted as well. 
I began thinking about how ego can drive us. How much we really want it to be about us! How much do I really want it to be about me?!

Talking to my wife last night, she reminded me of our conversation that I find other things to occupy my time. To not put all of my energies and enthusiasm into my work. There is truth in that. But then I remember to talked to Brooks a few days ago, and she encouraged me, "don't change, you can't have the wet without the water."

So, I will be passionate at work and I will be passionate at home. I will be passionate with friends and neighbors. But there must be a balance. And things must be sorted out.

I'm only with Brooks and Keys and Robertson for a time. In Memphis for a time. And I have grown to truly love these people that I have spent so much time with, trying to build something to exist in a way that it didn't exist before. But they will not be with me forever. My wife and my daughter, on the other hand, will.

Heavenly Father, my first ministry is to my family! But do I live that way? I do not. Help me set my life in order, oh Lord. Help me to serve my family first, to take care of them first. Help me have Kingdom orientation to prioritize my life.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

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