In the Morning When I Rise

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles.  Isaiah 40:31 I'm thinking about picking up John Mark Comer's Loveology. I'm not infatuated with his style, but he does have an uncanny knack of navigating great depths breezily. And I'm in need of reconsidering love and my relationship with my wife. This morning, feeling we are on a drought of sorts, I'm thinking "what can I do?" And as I searched (with an honest to God search) I saw how men centuries over have navigated the mystery of the inner world of their wives. I've long shared a favorite image explaining the dichotomy of men and women, showing the intricacies of turning on a woman versus, well, a man.  So, what can I do? I hate to say it... wait. My wife needs to know that I can. After years of it coming pretty easy, I think it's time to get in there and turn a few knobs, flick a few switches and tweak intimacy. There's a difference betwee...

Let us begin by saying that the basic difference between meditation and contemplation is that meditation is a human mode of prayer whereas contemplation is divinely infused prayer. This morning I consider, consideration. It's a term often used in the Bible, I believe in both the old and new testament. While you are going about your life, have you considered this... It's the entryway to the contemplative life. I use contemplation there, as a culminating thing, intentionally. Before I read a little bit, I might have considered using the word meditation instead, but that reveals my persuasion and error; also my inexperience. Meditation is man-initiated deep-thought. It's hope is to reach God. Contemplation, as exposed in the article below, is Spirit-breathed prayer inside of us, guiding us to right and holy actions. As I was searching consideration "vs" the other 2 terms, concentration came up. Presently, I see that as the course from consideration to meditation....

March 8th And now abide these three, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13 John 15. Jesus is at his most concise and articulate. John remembers. Time is short. Jesus has to summarize how they are to live after He is gone and, because it may get hard, why . His guidance weaves into and out of God; it abides and commands. For love and joy. It makes friends. And something else. Jesus didn't have to come. He could have let this place alone. And that's probably why those who hated Him really hated Him. He told them they were wrong. He messed up their flow and their designs. They had a pretty good handle on things, managing the masses, and He was disruptive... for what reason?!  But He did come. And He did call a spade a spade. And He did come with a double edged sword. He made clear what the choice was. And the benefits on one hand, the dangers on the other. 

What about overconfidence? Do I spend too much time thinking about what could be and not enough time evaluating what is ? Is that why have feelings of insufficiency and self-doubt? It's worth considering. This morning I thought through all the areas that I expect to excel: relationships, my work and leadership, management and support of my household. And I even consider myself excelling in all of these areas; I'm at least above average, right? But what if I wasn't? What if I was below average? What if my impediment (my reluctance to embrace what is right now) is the thing that is keeping me from more health and wellness? From shalom .  When I was depressed in my 20s, out of work, feeling absolutely insufficient and worthless and living in degeneracy, I had a revelation about how to proceed. It wasn't a spectacular revelation that changed my life in the blink of an eye. It was a gritty revelation. One that required a grind (love you Memphis). I had to choose to do the t...

Practicing feeling and listening prayer as prescribed by John Mark Comer in his How to Unhurry Workbook. That practice gave rise yesterday to no man is an island , and today to the following thoughts:  I have so much stimulus in a given day, it can lead to confusion about what to do next. In the lounge room I joked with a teacher that I was funneling a ton of information (I must have looked deep in my own world) and she said, "make sure something comes out the other side". In Tim's workspace at Henry there's a whiteboard with the following capture:  Problems Priorities Preferences I consider that more and more. I consider near term vs long term problems. Focusing on the near term is important for a sense of accomplishment and efficacy. But if the long term problems be neglected, fixing near term problems doesn't much matter. See the funneling consideration for priorities (ie. make sure something comes out the other side). What are preferences? :) And my last thou...

Upon reflection this morning I was getting the sense the root of my trouble is a feeling of inadequacy. That feeling of a lack of value leads to despondency and lack of trust, anxiety, fear. Then I make trivial decisions to ameliorate the pain; I self-medicate, I numb. As I dug a little further asking God, what could be the resolution, I got the sense that I pretty much exist as an island. And that the resolution for me is going to involve learning to do life with others, and not to or at , or from above others. A search on my existing as a "clod", turned up a poem by John Donne, a man I learned of from Phillip Yancey in his book, Soul Survivor (note: searching the connection on these two turns up some work I may want to look into in the future). It always took me how ordinary his struggles were, and yet how he found the profound. He became ill and near to death, and struggled with his faith, and he overcame, got better, and led a closer walk to God. As I read on him a lit...