In the Morning When I Rise

This morning I caught a glimpse of why our Church Sundays go the way they do, and I caught a glimpse of why we put such a high emphasis on the Bible. Both glimpses relate back to Nehemiah 8:1-9. There the people are shown preparing for the reading of the Law by worshiping. They led to getting their hearts right by God, preparing to hear His Word. Once the word was read they were moved to tears. After this moment, because of their strict adherence to the Word of God, the exiled-now-returned Jews became known as the People of the Book. They were born again! I had another glimpse this morning when about to leave my clothes on the floor in the closet and mark an email unread; both situations to come back to it later. I was prompted with: "handle it once", a phrase that Jess likes to say to hearken to efficiency and time saving. I wondered if this emphasis was from God; I also was remembering the scripture "I discipline my body" (1 Cor 9:27) at the same time. In th...

Yesterday watching Modern Family, Cam was waiting on some news about a job that could cause him and his husband to move out of town. The scenes flitted between dismay and acceptance, just hours or minutes apart from each other. Jess and I laughed, but there is something eerily true about Cam's instability. Sunday, I was in the Spirit, barely able to sing Michael Card's The Nazarene. I was so moved by Him who surrendered all. Today I read from Nehemiah and I feel the question rise in me, will God again do any great works? Will I see them? I've been in this place before. My failures before have led to my mediocrity in Christianity. I've felt before that my relationship with God is one-sided, and not in the way the gospel preachers would have you to think. It's times like these that I need a word from the Lord. I need Him to call, as described by Bonhoeffer. Perhaps, though, really, I do not know what I need. And that what I really need is to stay with the Lord,...

This week begins a revisit to the importance of the Word of God in communicating with God. Certainly, this is one of the surest ways to hear God... it's write there in black and white! But the opposition I see to what should ostensibly be easy is the trust factor. Can you trust that it's the Word of God? There is so much in there that I find myself jolted by. Read through Exodus 20-40, as prescribed in CG, you may be jolted by a few things. Don't kill a sorceress, die. Have sex with an animal, die. There's a bunch of penalty of death stuff in there. I get that the law was our trainer, but if our training had such high costs then we should pay attention to this: If the law cost us obedience, Jesus Christ costs us everything. Lord Jesus, I want to give me all, everyday, but I fizzle out. It's my own strength. Give me this day my daily bread. Nourish me on Your Word and Your Living Water. In Jesus Name, Amen

It is not so much method of prayer that makes prayer effective, but perpetuity in the Spirit of prayer. Man, if I could just get that into my spirit. This morning I ran with a student. He's at a crossroads place, a place where there is a seeming insurmountable task in front of him. He is running 12 minute miles, unable to run for a mile without stopping. He has to run 2 miles in under 16 minutes in 10 days in order to get a military scholarship. I can't see how it's going to happen. What does one do in this situation? Just do it. See what happens. Open up a channel for God to work. Go. Do. See. This is the faith life. I'm not exactly sure how today's events connect to prayer, but I feel that they do. Today I pray that I was in the spirit of James 1:22, don't be a hearer, be a doer of the Word. There are many words that Jesus used to describe the Life, but it's important to reflect that they were all in the moment. Jesus took in the totality of the situ...

My wife is right! Pride is my problem. As I was thinking through my issues at work, they almost certainly have to do with my feeling of "demotion". I have built something and am not able to bring it into full flourish. So, I explained to Mrs. Pirtle yesterday. Side note, I really have to stop sharing so much at work. So, I have this general feeling of pessimism. I am dreary. I may even be depressed. And I can't shake it. I read this morning in CG regarding appearances. The way they show up in my life is that I want to be revered, I want to be consulted, I want to be an engine for change. At work, I must humbly say, at the moment, I am not really these things. In my church life, I am not really these things. But pursuing these things is a miss. Perhaps God would have me pursue the more basic things, matters of the heart and intentions, rather than the fruits of their existence. I may be seeking the fruit rather than the seed. Lord Jesus, it has certainly been a...

I sometimes am persuaded that I have a profound mind, but am usually humbled when it takes me 5 minutes to remember what I was just thinking about. This morning, I had 2 thoughts about Muller in how he is represented in CG, how amazing, and how silly. The one thought that will not go away is how different. Muller prayed long hours of prayer. And it was heartfelt, trusting prayer, too. His journaling was different than mine also. His reflections were much less lamenting and sad (and theoretical), and more telling stories about how God met the need. I've long been uncomfortable with "long hour prayers" as I guess I'm still at a place where that would seem like drudgery and unnecessary. CG's take is that prayer is talking to God about your work together. I like the sounds of that. But lest I think that it's because I like it that means it's good and true, God please direct me further in prayer. Lord Jesus, I've been stuck on this one for a while:...

This morning, as I was wrestling in prayer, I thought that there are two kinds of obvious. There is a secular kind of obvious, and a spiritual kind. The secular kind is hard core materialistic, that is, what you see is what you get. And if it's not seen, it will be at some point (but "seen" here is used in the very materialistic sense, not spiritual). Then there's the spiritual, that is, there is more than the eye can see. At first glance I considered these two and thought one deeper than the other. It's obvious to consider the things that are right in front of you as being most crucial to your world. But then there's a deeper sense, a bigger picture (mostly unseen) that suggests that there are other elements to consider in how we run our lives. I have chosen to be a part of the 2nd camp of "obvious", but it is not easy for me. I am a very clumsy person and have difficulty moving in a straight line when feeling about on all fours in the dark. ...

Prayer has been a tough journey for me. I most often am weary in prayer, not fully understanding the point: if God is leading all things to their end, what is the need for prayer? But the "God" I refer to with that sentiment is a far off God who does not need prayer. However, the God of the Bible does use prayer. And desires prayer. Prayer is our way to connect with God. And therein, perhaps, lies the real rub. Do I believe that I will hear from God, that in prayer, I will actually connect with the God of the universe. I am not the only one to ask this question: Is the reason, we're not still to hear You, because we don't believe You will, in stillness and simplicity ~Michael Card.  Though, I am finding little solace in that right now. But some. My trouble these days has been hearty belief. There is a nagging doubt in, well, all of it, that has kept me grounded. And that's probably a good thing. But, I pray that I wait upon the Lord (Isaiah 40:31). I can...

As I wrap up week 1 of CG, I am impressed with a few key ideas to consider, and better, to figure out how to work into my life. As I've journaled in the past, many issues that I face are long standing ones. I have difficulty getting through lifestyle issues, that is putting bad habits to rest. I more so let them linger, and the older I get, the more set they get. It will not be easy to change these lingering bad behaviors, but I find myself in a place where they must be changed if I am really going to get a hold of God, or rather, allow God to get a hold of me. The ideas: Character is formed by the choices we make. This is consistent with Anthony Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within , and so it resonates at this moment. One way communication with God. I've often struggled with listening for God. I believe a good starting place would be practicing the things that have helped me feel close to God: listening to worship, praying out loud, experiencing God's beauty in n...