Skip to main content

Making it Work


My wife continues to be frustrated by my commitment to work. She sees it more as addiction, at the very least over-commitment. We see things differently. But, that we sees things differently is a given. We are different people. The thing to think about is what next? Given that we think about things differently, how do we have shared experience... desirable shared experience?

I think that some of it is tied into my last post: concessions must be made. We have to compromise. I read something cool from the Gottman's that a couple would ask each other "how high does this rank for you?" Whoever had the higher number would get the accommodation. What a beautifully simple way to handle things.

Of course, it would require honesty and reflection to work. If one person always said 10, so that they always got their way, that would be dishonest. Or if it wasn't dishonest due to how compelled one person one felt to their own way, then reflection would hopefully mitigate the compulsion.

As I lay in my bed in the mornings before I officially wake up, I'm usually thinking about work. I've been thinking about how I can shift more of my thinking toward family life, my wife and daughter. Maybe it's because things are so broken at work that I go into fix-it mode. Whatever the case, if I don't proactively consider my wife and daughter more I may find myself having to go into an anxious fix-it mode at home.

Heavenly Father, do I have an unhealthy relationship with work, and with the people that I work with? Show me where I can make changes, or adjustments. Help me to live to do right and gain trust that way. I know of no other way.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No Time for a Hasty Decision

This morning, I awoke reflecting on yesterday. What I've been complaining to my wife recently about is that I'm always feeling attacked by my bosses. Like all things, there is some truth to it and some error in perception. I felt I should read a bit about defensiveness, just to get an idea of how it's happening with me and what I can do to stop it. I came up with the following diagram: from these really simple and straight forward articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-cycles-fear-cycles/201805/why-do-people-get-so-defensive https://www.amazon.com/Love-Cycles-Fear-Connection-Relationship/dp/1590794400 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-be-yourself/201805/how-stop-getting-defensive I see my problem, it's that I assume that people are coming from a bad place, and I just can't shake that. But even if people are coming from a bad place (whatever that means to me), I still have to find ways to turn it around. I have to work with a...

The Do of Potential Energy

James 4:17  New Century Version (NCV) Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning. Romans 7:15-18 For what I want to do I do not do, but  what I hate I do . And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.   The tension between my wife and I is coming to a breaking point. And that breaking point is either going to turn out for better or worse . The formula for distance is as follows: Matt (mistake) = Jess (distrust). And so it has gone for these 10 years. Notice that the formula does not include mitigation; in other words; Matt (good things) = Jess (approbation/trust) seems to be of negligible effect compared to the mistake coefficient. Thinking in terms of Gibbs free energy, the state of our relationship seems to be much more governed by mistakes (enthalpy) than be any good (entropy)....

Mind Fullness

I don't know if I'm altogether down with the notion, but it certainly makes sense. SitD for today is all about the prerequisite of being in a place of rest to hear God. The contention from me comes when I see all manner of Psalmist saying, "I cried out... and the Lord heard me", or "in the midst of my storm". But I guess that the answer could have come in time of calm after the storm, and the Psalmists reflected back and realized that God was there all along. Being amateur as I am in faith, and to some degree untested, I hear CS Lewis in the back of my mind with words from Mere Christianity. To summarize and paraphrase: we may have all manner of experience with God, as the man in the desert, but without theology, without systematic study, application, learning and wisdom in the things of God. George Matheson writes, and I read, that calm is needed to hear God. That God will not speak amidst the turmoil of a frantic and busy life. I think, fretfully, w...