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Being Sensitive to Ordinary Things


introverts have an unfortunate tendency to ruminate, which can turn an insult into an infection.

 When we experience something that triggers that old fear, we have a tendency to flood emotionally... When someone tells me I’m being too sensitive, it’s giving me feedback that my reaction is bigger than the moment deserves.

 honor your feelings without worrying about being oversensitive or crazy, he says: “If you’re feeling like something is off, you’re probably right."

 if you do find yourself throwing up defenses, ask yourself, “What are they touching that I believe myself?”
This woman no longer speaks to me... So the way I see it now: I wasn’t too sensitive at all. I was perceptive.
Last night, I decided I'd had enough of the jibes of my coworkers, and when I saw a text post that was insulting to me ("I thought you knew something"), I reacted, "Oh, so now we're resorting to insults. Nice." Immediately Brooks called me (showing her sensitivity to care for others, which contrasts sharply with my sensitivity for care for myself). Though, I still suspect some undue meanness on the part of some of my coworkers. But, if everyone has that same quality of meanness toward me, what does that say? If everyone seems to be saying, "stand back, dude, too much" wouldn't the rational response be to reflect and reorient?
A while back, when I first came to Memphis, during my Resident Principal training we had to take a Firo-B assessment, which evaluated us on leadership quality. One striking result was that I came up strong on wanting others to be transparent with me, but I was not transparent with them. It was another indication of something that I have long known, the pieces of evidence coming up from time to time over the years: I am hypocritical when it comes to self-denial. I love the sight of Christ-likeness, His self-denial, but I'm not as willing to die to self, myself!
Investigating the psychology of sensitivity and it's lean toward self-preservation and comparing that to the Eneagram 7 in me (with that leaning meaning the neglect of others), I realize that I have a lot of work to do to actually be more Christ-like. Being a 7, I am prone to living in a fantasy land of all things are possible, rather than the reality of all things are possible. 
At this moment, the only Biblical solution that I see is to put others' needs ahead of my own (Rom 12:10, Phil 2:3, Gal 5:13). For sure, I have to practice this. So strongly do I feel the compulsion to fulfill my dreams and goals that I become neglectful of those of others... and because they often lack, or I perceive they lack, the same quality of passion I esteem very highly, I demote their claims to that of the ordinary. 
But what's so wrong with ordinary? It's the ordinary that becomes extraordinary. There's a path there. I could be wrong, but doesn't God use the everyday things to upset our bombastic sensibilities? Doesn't God use the foolish, ordinary things, to confound the wise (1 Cor 1:26-27, 1 Cor 10:13)?
Heavenly Father, help me with my overly inflated sense of self. I shutter to think of what the request for help in this regard might mean. But I know request can only result in the death to self You have sought from me from the very beginning. But You are not a craver of death, but a Giver of Life. Help me to entrust my path of death to You, knowing that there is a resurrection from the dead... that a man can be Born Again!
In Jesus Name,
Amen


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